Heartless Harpy

The first time we ever experience true love, is when we are born into this world. We are to experience this love from our parents. However, what happens when our parents do not love us, where do we learn to love from then?

When I was younger I thought that girls learned to love through our mothers. How we saw them love men, we would mimick. But as I got older I realized that we learn from our fathers and as we watched them love our mother we rationalized the ways we wanted or did not want a man to love us. In my case, I wonder if I will develop into a lying, cheating, spineless bastard?

Or if what I thought when I was 13-17 that I would become my mother confused, weak, and confined.

Or here is the latest scenario that my fear of becoming both or either of my parents will turn me into a heartless Harpy. I think I will go with this one.

The All seeing EYE! (I)

I had a thought today as I usually do because the day you stop thinking is clearly the day you die, well at least I would hope that I have left this earth and am not somewhere in a vegetative state. .. Any who that is not the point of my post..

So I was thinking about perception and how when we sometimes meet people or are
around different people we can see them judging us. I know a few people whom I have given the title of "judgemental eyes" too. Where everything you say or do, you can see them analyzing and making assertions about your character. Well I realize today that it is not them who is judging it is "EYE!" (I) because my eyes are seeing a mirror and I am looking at myself and so have pushed this skewed image of myself on to another human being. No human being should have the ability to control another, I mean come on we are after all mortal beings and so magical powers HA! the only power there is is knowledge. The idea of truth, and that truth is if you know yourself better than how you all yourself to be known (think on this) you will feel less inclined to look into the eyes of another being and think of them judging you.

The Lesson: Comfort yourself in the knowledge of who you are so that you will not be uncomfortable.

This leads me to a second though the issue of self esteem and the lack thereof, I think it is completely okay to second guess yourself from time to time, it is also a part of being a living being, I will not say it is the attribute of humans because I have seen animals display this behavior as well. The problem with having a lack of self esteem comes also from a lack of knowledge, It would do us all good to constantly seek knowledge, what knowledge could we acquire that would aid in self esteem? IF you are asking this question you are a JACKASS and have NOT been paying attention!

Dear India Arie, U lie!

I am starting to think that rather than love we are looking fo robots that are what we want exactly. Instead of looking for qualitites that can add to who we are and aid on our individual spirit we miss out on these things because we become consumed by the lack of. If we were truly ready for love then we would seek without eyes,hear without needing words and feel without the need to actually touch.

Just a thought!

Untitled

Taking a deep breath to remind myself that I can do it.
Lungs filled face flushed, fear causes me to tremble
But I can do it
I hear a sounds it comes from me,
Somethings broken? No its that wall coming down, but i'm afraid
I can do it.
I'm shouting now, its like a Cherokee war cry, reminding myself
I can do it
The pressure, the panic, the pain,
But... I.. can ..do it?
Or else I would never have started,would I?
I can do it....Life!